March 23, 2012

17272dorsetave:

Previously on Pages In Courier:

105 movie sequels currently in the works

Now:

Universal Hires New Scribes For ‘Midnight Run 2,’ And Brett Ratner Will Direct It

   Ryan Gosling knows how I feel.

November 10, 2011
I, for one, have already forgotten that this Ratner thing ever happened.
(original image via moviemeatloaf: nearlyvintage)

I, for one, have already forgotten that this Ratner thing ever happened.

(original image via moviemeatloaf: nearlyvintage)

September 7, 2011
I keep seeing this image today, which I think dates back to Murphy’s movie Meet Dave, and it reminds me that on my old site I did a lengthy post about this idea in which Murphy’s PR folk had created this massive Eddie Murphy head that they’d ship all over the country and when you approached it, its jaws would open wide and you’d throw your money into it. Quoting myself here:

Now when we go to the theater to get screwed by Hollywood, all we have  to do is throw our money into the big, laughing, gaping mouth of Eddie  Murphy – and we don’t have to suffer the humiliation of sitting through one of his movies.

The post is here, but it doesn’t have the images I made for it, so…
totalfilm:

 Eddie Murphy to host 2012 Oscars
…

I keep seeing this image today, which I think dates back to Murphy’s movie Meet Dave, and it reminds me that on my old site I did a lengthy post about this idea in which Murphy’s PR folk had created this massive Eddie Murphy head that they’d ship all over the country and when you approached it, its jaws would open wide and you’d throw your money into it. Quoting myself here:

Now when we go to the theater to get screwed by Hollywood, all we have to do is throw our money into the big, laughing, gaping mouth of Eddie Murphy – and we don’t have to suffer the humiliation of sitting through one of his movies.

The post is here, but it doesn’t have the images I made for it, so…

totalfilm:

Eddie Murphy to host 2012 Oscars

August 5, 2011
Brett Ratner is producing the next Oscar telecast.

On the surface, this sounds like bad news. But when you consider that the Oscars don’t have a story or characterizations to completely bungle, well maybe the Academy is onto something.

Then again, according to this, Ratner says that he thinks he got the job because of his “love of comedy”. Unfortunately, that does not translate to Ratner’s “skill at comedy”.

But let’s be optimistic: anything that keeps him away from film cameras is probably not a bad thing.

June 17, 2011

samuraifrog replied to your video: Apparently Brett Ratner needed a new way to meet…

This reminds me of when he was talking about how he wanted to shoot the Pirelli calender so he could take pictures of boobs. “That would be so fucking hot!” Being a hack is one thing, but also being a creep? That’s too much.

You know, most Hollywood bigshots find, I think (because I can’t speak from personal experience), a place of discreet serenity in which THEY know they can get any girl/boy/whatever they want, EVERYONE knows it, but they don’t have to crow about it all the time, let alone create new tail-streams directly to their penthouse suite.

Ratner, it would seem, has not found that fabled place yet.

June 17, 2011

Apparently Brett Ratner needed a new way to meet fame-hungry creative chicks.

I’m kidding - sort of - but this video sure comes off as kind of creepy. You’ve got Ratner, sitting in a Chatroulette-esque movie-star-penthouse-type setting, with cheesy porno music on the soundtrack, as he tells you the hoops he’d like you to jump through just to get the privilege to meet him! Oh and give your creative work exposure, yeah whatever that too.

  1. So he wants you to design his logo, I’m guessing for free.
  2. He wants you to be a featured extra in one of his “films” - and you’ve got to be able to act and (his words) react to an explosion.
  3. He wants you to spend your time, money, talent and resources in creating your own short film, for which he’ll grant you the pleasure of spending two days on-set with him - BRETT RATNER - fetching his coffee, scheduling his “massage” appointments and picking up his undies from the floor of his trailer. Maybe he’ll throw you a few filmmaking bones like finding subtle ways to provide story exposition and how to strike a proper performance balance in your actors (all of which he’ll look up for you on wikipedia).
  4. And he wants to meet upcoming photographers and fashion models.

WARNING: this video includes copious amounts of Hollywood Self-Interested Whoring. NSFPWS*

(via the Hollywood Reporter)

*not safe for people with souls

January 20, 2011
The entire team in X-Men: First Class will have to work pretty hard to remove the Ratner-Stench™ that lingers in the air over this franchise.
Good luck, mutants.
(original image via commanderspock: sameolddance: mclair)

The entire team in X-Men: First Class will have to work pretty hard to remove the Ratner-Stench™ that lingers in the air over this franchise.

Good luck, mutants.

(original image via commanderspock: sameolddance: mclair)

November 29, 2010

Yep. Not even a festive holiday beach party can cheer up Kristen Stewart.

And honestly? My dog is a better dancer than Ratner, and less smarmy.

(Source: elfyourself.jibjab.com)

November 17, 2010

peepeeherman:

burbanked:

(made partially via the Warning Sign Generator)

I don’t even know who that is, but thas’ funny.

I’m reblogging this because a few folks who have posted one of my warning signs from the other day don’t know who Brett Ratner is.

O HOW I ENVY THEM.

(via peepeeherman-deactivated2013010)

November 16, 2010
(made partially via the Warning Sign Generator)

(made partially via the Warning Sign Generator)

Liked posts on Tumblr: More liked posts »